# Book of Joy  ## Metadata - Author: [[Dalai Lama]] - Full Title: Book of Joy - Category: #books - Summary: The Book of Joy discusses how joy can be cultivated by shifting focus from ourselves to others, especially in times of suffering. The Dalai Lama and the Archbishop emphasize that recognizing our shared struggles helps us connect and find happiness. They suggest that practicing gratitude and compassion leads to a deeper, lasting joy. ## Highlights - No dark fate determines the future. We do. Each day and each moment, we are able to create and re-create our lives and the very quality of human life on our planet. This is the power we wield. Lasting happiness cannot be found in pursuit of any goal or achievement. It does not reside in fortune or fame. It resides only in the human mind and heart, and it is here that we hope you will find it. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv13mqy4hf0jnvbvp1dhvfw1)) - “Something is lacking. As one of the seven billion human beings, I believe everyone has the responsibility to develop a happier world. We need, ultimately, to have a greater concern for others’ well-being. In other words, kindness or compassion, which is lacking now. We must pay more attention to our inner values. We must look inside.” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv13p4kn96436pyvcawer64q)) - The Dalai Lama was referring to the eighth-century Buddhist master Shantideva, who wrote, “If something can be done about the situation, what need is there for dejection? And if nothing can be done about it, what use is there for being dejected?” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv14fjdjm65sab0hyc87j5gr)) - I developed tuberculosis and went to a TB hospital, where I noticed that almost all of the patients who started to hemorrhage, coughing up blood, ended up being pushed out on a trolley to the mortuary. I must’ve been about fifteen or so when I began coughing, coughing up blood, too. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv13he4gqkskxq28n2wnv93b)) - I was sitting down with this receptacle in front of me and each time I coughed, blood just came out that way. I said, ‘God, if you want, if this is curtains for me, then it’s okay.’ I have to admit that I was surprised at the calm and the peace that came over me. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv13hv8y0a9bgx25ek9dzmzn)) - I have often thought about the strength that the Archbishop gained from facing illness and death so early in life. Illness is one of the most common sources of suffering and adversity that people face, and yet even here, as with my father, people can find meaning and spiritual growth in it. In many ways, it’s probably the most common motivation for people to reevaluate and transform their lives. It’s almost a cliché that people with serious or life-threatening illnesses start to savor each moment and to be more fully alive. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv13jp28zc87h9nz9ecnyvh1)) - “It is much better whe\n there is not too much seriousness,” the Dalai Lama responded. “Laughter, joking is much better. Then we can be completely relaxed. I met some scientists in Japan, and they explained that wholehearted laughter—not artificial laughter—is very good for your heart and your health in general.” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv14h268h813szpj1947r3z2)) - It probably takes many years of monastic practice to equal the spiritual growth generated by one sleepless night with a sick child. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv14ah461w4vye9fpdhb0yrd)) - “Our human nature has been distorted,” the Archbishop began. “I mean, we are actually quite remarkable creatures. In our religions I am created in the image of God. I am a God carrier. It’s fantastic. I have to be growing in godlikeness, in caring for the other. I know that each time I have acted compassionately, I have experienced a joy in me that I find in nothing else. “And even the cynic will have to admit that it is how we are wired. We’re wired to be other-regarding. We shrivel if there is no other. It’s really a glorious thing. When you say, ‘I will care for only me,’ in an extraordinary way that *me* shrivels and gets smaller and smaller. And you find satisfaction and joy increasingly elusive. Then you want to grab and try this and try that, but in the end you don’t find satisfaction.” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv143njzwgxx4t0tk7q3vwbc)) - “So,” the Archbishop said with a laugh, “our book says that it is in giving that we receive. So I would hope that people would recognize in themselves that it is when we are closed in on ourselves that we tend to be miserable. It is when we grow in a self-forgetfulness—in a remarkable way I mean we discover that we are filled with joy. “I’ve sometimes joked and said God doesn’t know very much math, because when you give to others, it should be that you are subtracting from yourself. But in this incredible kind of way—I’ve certainly found that to be the case so many times—you gave and it then seems like in fact you are making space for more to be given to you. “And there is a very physical example. The Dead Sea in the Middle East receives fresh water, but it has no outlet, so it doesn’t pass the water out. It receives beautiful water from the rivers, and the water goes dank. I mean, it just goes bad. And that’s why it is the Dead Sea. It receives and does not give. And we are made much that way, too. I mean, we receive and we must give. In the end generosity is the best way of becoming more, more, and more joyful.” We had come to the eighth and final pillar of joy. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv14v7z4crw14s8f8msndczb)) - Generosity is often a natural outgrowth of compassion, though the line between the two can be hard to distinguish. As Jinpa pointed out, we don’t need to wait until the feelings of compassion arise before we choose to be generous. Generosity is often something that we learn to enjoy by doing. It is probably for this reason that charity is prescribed by almost every religious tradition. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv14sgbvk9rd0b1kh568g5bm)) - So it seems that money can buy happiness, if we spend it on other people. Researcher Elizabeth Dunn and her colleagues found that people experience greater happiness when they spend money on others than when they spend it on themselves. Dunn also found that older adults with hypertension have decreased blood pressure when they are assigned to spend money on others rather than themselves. As the Archbishop had explained, we receive when we give. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv146bh0bts3vvjf3qta78pj)) - A large meta-analysis by cardiologist Randy Cohen conducted at the Mount Sinai St. Luke’s Medical Center found that a high sense of purpose correlates with a 23 percent reduction in death from all causes. In another study conducted by neuropsychologist Patricia Boyle and her colleagues and reported in *JAMA* *Psychiatry*, people with a sense of purpose were half as likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease after seven years. It’s no surprise, then, that being generous with our time seems to be equally profound for our health. A large meta-analysis by Morris Okun and his colleagues have found that volunteering reduces the risk of death by 24 percent. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv14jscy6eg8q2yfzw7yv9w8)) - Compassion and generosity are not just lofty virtues—they are at the center of our humanity, what makes our lives joyful and meaningful. “Yes, there are many, many, many ugly things,” the Archbishop explained. “But there are also some incredibly beautiful things in our world. The black townships in South Africa are squalor ridden and because of despair and disease, including HIV, children are orphaned. In one of the townships, I met a mother who had collected these abandoned children off the streets. She’s got nothing much in the way of resources. But the minute she began doing that, help began coming for her to carry out her work of compassion. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv14j6jb57knkq8jkwcarb5e)) - Adversity, illness, and death are real and inevitable. We choose whether to add to these unavoidable facts of life with the suffering we create in our own minds and hearts, the chosen suffering. The more we make a different choice, to heal our own suffering, the more we can turn to others and help to address their suffering with the laughter-filled, tear-stained eyes of the heart. And the more we turn away from our self-regard to wipe the tears from the eyes of another, the more—incredibly—we are able to bear, to heal, and to transcend our own suffering. This was their true secret to joy. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv14c13fvet5mbr4g2t649yy)) - **Now ask yourself: “What is my heart’s desire? What do I wish for myself, for my loved ones, and for the world?”** Our deepest desires usually lie beyond our temporary wishes and wants. They are likely to involve living with profound human values that lead to our greatest happiness, calling us back to our place within the fabric of life. The Dalai Lama has a simple way of testing our intentions: “Is it just for me, or for others? For the benefit of the few, or for the many? For now, or for the future?” This litmus test can help guide us toward what we truly wish for. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv15ct283b01gat63b1evgqh)) - The Archbishop often has a long prayer list for those who are in need. This happens during designated liturgies and in times of personal prayer. This ability to open our mind and our heart to others who are suffering, whether we know them by name or from only the news, helps us to reorient our heart to compassion from the inevitable self-preoccupations of our day. You can ask God to help them, or simply ask that they be given what they need. You can ask God to bless them, or send them your own blessings that they will be made whole and may be happy. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv14cnx1fv2mzhapjcyn8mqh)) - **Material giving.** There is no substitute for helping to lessen the inequality and injustice that are such enduring features of our world. Whether you tithe or give *dana*, this is really the beginning of weekly and even daily practice of thinking about how you can give to others. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jv14d6pmrd43kx87dwdynhv6))