# Personal Values: How to Know Who You Really Are  ## Metadata - Author: [[Mark Manson]] - Full Title: Personal Values: How to Know Who You Really Are - Category: #articles - Summary: Personal values shape what we see as success and a meaningful life. Working hard only matters if your goals are good and positive. To improve yourself, first decide what values and goals truly matter to you. - URL: https://markmanson.net/personal-values ## Highlights - *achieving success in life is not nearly as important as our definition of success.* If our definition of success is horrific—like, say, world domination and slaughtering millions—then [working harder](https://markmanson.net/how-to-be-more-productive), [setting and achieving goals](https://markmanson.net/goal-setting), and [disciplining our minds](https://markmanson.net/self-discipline) all become a *bad thing.* ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0zemv6kcw3q1b4aeyynad9w)) - Personal values are the measuring sticks by which we determine what is a successful and meaningful life. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0zenr122aq67ewp0z271q5d)) - Our values are constantly reflected in the way we choose to behave. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0zerkvss91dr8ekxefy0qq1)) - Many of us state values *we wish we had* as a way to cover up the values *we actually have*. In this way, aspiration can often become another form of avoidance. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0zeswhxhjsv3qkg2daqwnbj)) - That’s because our values are extensions of ourselves. They are what define us. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0zevtq2jcbn3895ngxyfe32)) - Values are the fundamental component of our psychological make-up and [our identity](https://markmanson.net/why-you-should-care-about-many-things).[8](https://markmanson.net/personal-values/#footnote-8) We are defined by what we choose to find important in our lives. We are defined by our prioritizations. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0zf6yhc4nwq00y7mnwhmqj6)) - eople who lead their lives based on how they feel will find themselves [perpetually on a treadmill](https://markmanson.net/hidden-costs-of-happiness), constantly needing more, more, more. And the only way to step off that treadmill is to decide that something matters more than your own feelings—that some cause, [some goal](https://markmanson.net/goals), [some person](https://markmanson.net/unconditional-love), is worth occasionally getting hurt for. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0zf8hdaavx29sfc62j55ee6)) - That “cause” is often what we refer to as [our “purpose”](https://markmanson.net/life-purpose) and finding it is one of the most important endeavors we can take to enhance our health and well-being. But our purpose should be sought [not merely through what feels good](https://markmanson.net/find-what-you-love). It must be considered and reasoned. We must accumulate evidence supporting it. Otherwise, we’ll spend our lives chasing a mirage. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0zf8v7zvthctap0wvaaj0c3))