# How to Stop Caring About What People Think ![rw-book-cover](https://markmanson.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/how-to-not-care-what-people-think-cover.png) ## Metadata - Author: [[Mark Manson]] - Full Title: How to Stop Caring About What People Think - Category: #articles - Summary: The desire to stop caring about others' opinions is common, but it's not easy to achieve. Understanding that caring is part of being human helps in managing these feelings better. Evolutionarily, our need for social acceptance is rooted in survival instincts from our tribal past, where rejection could be life-threatening. In modern times, choosing the right tribe of people who respect and support you can help reduce the impact of others' opinions. Ultimately, shifting focus to something truly important in life can diminish the importance of external validation, leading to a more fulfilling and authentic existence. - URL: https://markmanson.net/how-to-stop-caring-about-what-people-think ## Highlights - We all wish we could be impervious to others’ opinions, like Superman deflecting bullets. But instead of bullets, we’re out here trying to deflect [the fucks we wish we didn’t give](https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck). ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0ze0w7jwg4dsmjpcd31hdt1)) - Humans are weak, slow, and generally terrible at most physical tasks compared to other animals. What sets us apart is our intelligence and our ability to form complex social structures. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0ze1r336cct25e3hham9zqa)) - we lived in small tribes where everyone depended on one another for survival. In these tribes, social rejection could be fatal. Our brains evolved to associate social rejection with death, and that’s why it feels so painful. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0ze22y79bspafabsaq9gp06)) - Which brings us to the surprising answer: If you find yourself caring too much about what people think, it might be because you *don’t have something more important* to care about. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0ze2mbhm4q210e1pve0a27y)) - When you have [something truly important](https://markmanson.net/personal-values) in your life, something you’re willing to be ridiculed for, that’s when you’ll stop caring about others’ opinions. Ironically, that’s also when people start respecting you. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0ze2s8pwf9t54qrfs4kmnhp)) - What’s so important in your life that you’re willing to be ridiculed for it? ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01k0ze31wqdewgffm5jb9e2m96))